So my hometown just wrapped up hosting the Superbowl and The Phoenix Open Golf Tournament. During the past week, Phoenix and old town Scottsdale were crawling with parties + events related to these two events.
One of my interns told me that if you wanted to get into the Maxim party, you had to send a head-shot, and IF they “determined” you were HOT enough, you were allowed in. At first I did not believe her, then I heard it from the girls at my Spin class, the nail designers at teres nail salon and a slew of other people.
This made me nauseous! What in the world are we teaching young women!? That if they are hot-enough, if they are a size-zero, have the right face, the right hair, then, and only then, are they are worthy enough to gain access to the hottest party in town!?!?!? This is a recipe for pure shallowness!
I love living in Phoenix/Scottsdale. But I must admit this town can be quite skin deep! We often strive to be a wannabe LA – where plastic surgery is the norm and the standard is to look like a Barbie doll – and anything less than this pre-determined “look” is somehow considered unworthy, un-valuable and not hip and cool.
Honestly, the idea that your image is more important than your character, and the concept that aesthetics trumps integrity, disgusts me! And parties like the Maxim Superbowl party are only fueling and feeding a generation of young girls to believe their worth, their identity, their very sense of value is entirely wrapped up in their looks!
If you look like you have it all, well than that seems to be all that matters — even if you have a malnourished soul and have deprived your spirit of its true purpose. The joke is that old town Scottsdale is made up of $30,000 millionaires – the peeps who lease an expensive car, save all their money for that one pair of Louboutins, and then go home to an apartment full of five roommates and rising credit card debt.
I am ALL about looking your best and indulging in the latest trends! I AM in fashion ;-)) I love getting my hair blown out, doing my nails every two weeks, constantly adding to my collection of designer sunglasses, and rocking 6 inch stilletos with a brand new outfit — with jewelry dripping off my fingers and hands.
HOWEVER, these are merely things I enjoy, my worth, my value, my identity are not derived from these things. Strip me of my fashionable toys and I am still Jennifer Paige Boonlorn, my value did not dimmish with the fleeting of my materialistic stuff.
I am fully confident that my worth is grounded in the fact that I exist. That something far greater than me, wanted me here on this earth to carry out a greater purpose. I was in the car when my parents were killed. I could easily have died that fateful day. BUT I did not. God kept me here, for I still had a mission to fullfill, trials I had to grow from, and projects he wanted me to accomplish.
When I am out, and I get passed over for the Barbie doll, the ego in me is often bruised a bit. However, lately I am realizing how THANKFUL I am for getting passed over. Those guys would never be a fit for me – if their main criteria is looks, and my main criteria is consciousness and being mindful of how you show up and contribute to the world.
But it still saddens me, that as a society we are setting the standard to be ALL ABOUT LOOKS and ignoring character, contribution and most importantly SOUL.
Looks are fleeting, materialistic goods can vanish in a nano-second, but only the soul remains.
Working on our outter appearances is fun and there is a rush that comes from getting “noticed” — there is no doubt about that. But it is the soul work, your character, your integrity, how you show up when the fire of life starts to burn you, what you do when no one is looking, those are the things that are truly valueable and worthy in my Soul Carrier world ;-)) That is how I size up identity.
I will pass on the Maxim parties of the world for now…and I hope that those that do partake, realize their value + worth is that they are alive, NOT that some party coordinator thought they were hot enough to attend.