My friend Stephanie Drescher posted this on my Facebook page. It is my new life mantra!
I feel that we have been conditioned that unless we validate, explain or have a million reasons for why we are doing whatever we doing, we are not allowed to do it. We are taught to constantly seek guidance and advice from outside ourselves. I understand that those that are older, wiser, or have gone ahead of us in life, have very sage insight to share — but it is still knowledge from their point of view, from their journey and from their personal path. And I have learned that I have to be careful to not let their experiences overpower my own intuition. What worked beautifully for one person, may not work so beautifully for me – because my journey will never be 100% what their journey was or is.
And as I accrue an ever growing team of interns, I want to be conscious of balancing being a mentor and doling out advice, with letting the interns really listen to their own intuition. Whenever I deny or squash my authentic inner truth aka my intuition, I tend to hit roadblocks and end up having to untangle myself from situations that should never have occurred if only I had spoken up and said what I really thought in the first place. When I tell people my “fake truth” — in order to prevent hurt feelings or keep the peace – I only end up putting a band-aid on a more serious wound. People will hold me to the “fake truth” standard, growing ever more confused with me as I try to get back to my center of truth and push back against the perception of myself that I had set in motion. Being authentic and genuine isn’t easy when you programmed to please. When you find your value and worth in what others think of you, the default action is to be whatever they want you to be. Having the courage to be whoever you are at your inner core, means listening to your intuition — even at the expense of disappointing or not gaining approval.
I always thought it was funny when people ask “What do YOU think I should do in this situation!?” I would always turn it around and say “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO!?” It is your life, you get to decide how you want to live it — no one can take action for your life but you. We have been taught that learning from others mistakes will save us from a life of regret and heartache. However my deepest heartaches and biggest mess-ups have led to my greatest breakthroughs and epiphanies. Life is meant to happen, to unfold, fall apart, come back together, evolve and push forward. Trying to keep it all together in a neat-little-vanilla-box to prevent mistakes, heartache or regret isn’t really living at all. Furthermore, controlling against what we most fear, tends to manifest that very fearful situation.
Operating from an authentic place can be very scary, but the greater outcome always brings me lasting peace. All my decisions, all my actions, and everything I say is genuine and clear. I am in alignment with who I really, truly am, and the life that I really want to live starts to take shape. My most supportive friends know that my version of peace and happiness may not be their version of peace and happiness, but their love for me isn’t linked to whether we live carbon-copy lives of each other. They want genuine-authenticity and nothing less from me.
However, it is the disingenuous state that causes life’s stumbling blocks. Doing things to please and perform sets a standard of “fake truth” and leaves a sticky residue of confusion to those you have delivered the “fake truth” upon. People are often perplexed when I operate from a genuine-authentic place after years of “behaving + performing”.
Despite their confusion, I no longer want to compromise, accommodate, or compensate my OWN SOUL in order to gain approval, worth or validation. Live from your own inner truth — all the wisdom in the world will never be as great as your own intuition. And that is the one piece of wisdom I really do hope to implant upon all those I mentor.