For a long time I operated from the point of view that people had to “get me”, and if for some reason they did not “get me” I must be wrong! Their understanding, approval and agreement to whatever I was up to, equaled my worth and value.

I worked really hard to try and convince them to see things from my point of view — for my very validation, hinged on it.  But what I ended up doing, was performing and pleasing, in order to gain their approval and admiration.

It was an exhausting way of life, and not a very authentic one at that! And as 2014 approaches, I want to rid myself of this ideology. I am enough, I am worthy, we all are, and it is not, because people approve of us or not.

I want to believe in myself enough, that even when the criticism, doubt or judgement comes tumbling my way, I won’t be swayed or fall apart. People are allowed their opinions, and I am allowed to be centered and not let it affect me.

The one thing I want my interns to take away from the whole Soul Carrier experience is to believe in themselves and to NOT get swept up in the white noise. It is not an easy task, I know, for years I have been swimming upstream against it! But when you are doing what you are meant to do, when you are in alignment with your soul’s true purpose, it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world says or thinks. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, you just have to keep showing up and doing your best, everything else is just passing words and fleeting opinions.

We all have varying paths to follow, journeys to fulfill and purposes that are unique and different from each other. One is not better than the other, they are just distinct to each person. The song “What If” by Five for Fighting came on Spotify and its lyrics immediately resonated with me. It talks about people making up their mind up before they even know you.  When this used to happen, I would work really hard to make sure their mind DID GET ME. But now I have come to place of: what if we all just simply let each other be?

That is my ultimate goal in 2014, and in life. To just BE, and to let others JUST BE. It isn’t fun being doubted, criticized or judged, but with this new outlook, I am no longer going to let it determine my peace. And I am going to work just as hard to not judge others who are different from me or living a life different than how I live my life.

And when the waves of criticism and misunderstanding, get choppy and rough, to come back to a place of stillness and realize, it doesn’t matter. I am enough, period. Approval from others, disapproval from others, their happiness with me, their disappointment in me, my successes, my losses, recognition, lack of recognition, none of it contributes to my value or worth at the end of day.  In the words of Five For Fighting: “If you don’t get, then you don’t get it” and you know what, I finally get THAT ;-))

“What If” by Five For Fighting:

“I had a dream of a new tomorrow
Threw a line out to pull you to me
If you don’t get it, then you don’t get it
You made your mind up before you knew me
If you don’t get it, then you don’t get it
Take my hand for a minute.
We’re in it – imagine all the pain that might be forgiven

What if I had your heart?
What if you wore my scars?
How would we break down?
What if you were me and what if I were you?

What if you told my lies?
What if I cried with your eyes?
Could anyone keep us down?
What if you were me? What if I were you?

Had a dream of a new tomorrow.
If you don’t get it, then you don’t get it.
I took a step hoping you might follow.
If you don’t get it, then you don’t get it.
Take a chance for a minute. Jump in it.
Imagine if you asked yourself for a minute:

What if I had your heart?
What if you wore my scars?
How would we break down?
What if you were me and what if I were you?

What if you told my lies?
What if I cried with your eyes?
Could anyone keep us down?
What if you were me? And what if I were you?

To the ones who make it better, find to get out, gotta touch the other side.
What if all that it took to save our lives together was to rise up?”